Wednesday, April 25, 2012

zoom into the future.

its been years. or maybe just a year. i'm not sure. no one reads this. or at least no one comments. and i'm okay with that. i started school. again. i'm thinking maybe this time i wont quit. but i'm actually at a point right now where i need to quit school or work. and i'm leaning toward work since i've quit school so many times. decisions. i just hate that i have money saved up and finally got a promotion and now POOF... it may be gone. so then i started looking at other schools and their programs for my major and i got seriously sad and frustrated. i knew our program wasn't the best... but my god. its so bad in comparison to other schools they might as well say fuck it and not have one. more than half of what is in the catalog isn't even offered. i'm going to major in something i'm really interested in, and spend the whole time taking classes i couldn't care less about. like desert landscapes. i understand we are close to the desert, but guess what, we are even closer to COASTAL LANDSCAPES, so that should be offered. other schools have classes like alpine and polar climates, soil, earth imagery. we have deserts. whatever.

Sunday, January 2, 2011


it has been forever. so much has changed. but here is the new rant:

if someone said to you "if you really want to hang we will tonight when i come down." would you assume that they were coming over regardless of whether or not you wanted to hang?

because thats how i took it. but it's 930pm and no one has bothered coming over or text to say 'i'm on my way.' so these christmas presents just sit here and collect dust. really? its jan 3, buddy.

boys do not know how to communicate. there has got to be a way to selectively breed them out of existence.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

i love you casey. forever.

my mom put my dog down yesterday while i was at work. ten years old. got her as a freshman in hs after years of begging. i knew it would come to this, she was really sick. and at first i didnt believe it. even tho i was over there after it happened and there was only the one dog around wondering why everyone was crying and where the other dog went. now im crying so hard at just the thought of her being so alone where ever she is right now and how the other dog just looks around for her in all the usual spots. i moved out a while back and have my own little puppy right now and he's just looking at me like, 'what the heck is your problem?' this really hurts and sucks. i can FEEL the hurt deep down and surging through my veins like bee stings. i cant help but make fists and want to hit something. and i dont want to see anybody. i'm ready to kick my boyfriend out just so i can be alone and stop having to hide the tears.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Bathroom

This is why boys are not to be trusted to clean the bathroom.

After a long day at work (not actually that long but when you're working with kids and idiotic management, the hours can suck all of your energy out) I come home to laundry that has not been put away, and a bathroom in need of some scrubbing bubbles. "Don't worry about it, I'll clean it," he says. "No, I like cleaning it," I reply. Wait, who really likes cleaning the bathroom? "I do it better anyway," I add. "Just wait until later or tomorrow. I'm going to take a shower as soon as I come home from the gym anyway," he says. "I have to work early and I'm not spending my Friday night cleaning the bathroom, I will do it tonight," I reply.
So boy goes to the gym. And I sit in my chair in front of the TV watching Mtv's MADE. I think about playing video games. But MADE is so addicting. ENOUGH. Ew, there is a reason I don't even know what number channel Mtv is. These are hours of my life I will never get back. Let the cleaning begin.
Boy thinks the bathroom sink is also a kitchen so he leaves cups and bowls on the counter top even though we have counted the steps to the kitchen sink and have agreed that it is about 12 boy steps (my legs are shorter). I put the cups in the middle of the bedroom floor for him. Shaving cream goes in the shower, vitamins go in the cupboard, magazines that end up behind the toilet on a daily basis go in the media room.
I put the toilet bowl cleaner in the toilet and let it sit while I scrub the counter and sink. The Lysol toilet bowl cleaner really gets my stomach in a knot because it reminds me of the smell of Pepto.
When I place the toilet scrubby wand in the toilet the water turns GREEN. Boy has somehow managed to get poop all over the scrubber and in its little caddy. The more I scrub, the more flakes of poo are released into the toilet. The little puddle of water and shit in the caddy stares up at me.
HOW did this happen? And WHEN is he coming home from the gym? And just how long has the crap infested scrubber been sitting there next to the toilet? I poured toilet cleaner into the caddy and left the bathroom mid cleanup. Because if I had cleaned it up, he wouldn't have believed that he tried to unclog a giant turd with a scrubby. But he did. I promise. And this is why boys can't be in charge of cleaning the bathroom.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Wash It Away

sometimes i get so sad i think about going back to bad habits. but then i think of michelle and nawal and how dumb they sound sometimes and how desperate they are for attention. and i think back to simon and how absolutely pathetic she was. but i still want to. because i know that when we fight he is going to regret doing all these special things for me and now i feel like i am wasting his time and money and i dont deserve it.
its just that sometimes i get suspicious and sometimes i stumble upon it and sometimes he acts different and sometimes he has these "new ideas" that he just magically thinks of and then i know. and i'm not saying never do it, its bad. but there is the right time and place for that. and sometimes i could even be included.
and i think, really, i was gone for four hours and sometimes i dont want to and sometimes it bugs when you dont show me but tell me and expect fireworks, but it was my birthday and you couldn't wait?

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Everyone Knows

I don't have any friends. This is sad but true.

I don't want to be like Louie. I'm nothing like Louie. Louie doesn't like to do anything. I like to do everything.

23 yr old girl seeking friend. Must be able to hold a conversation and have time to spend with me. No mood swings, no out of towners. Boys need not apply.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Things I Do

1. clean bathroom (tub/shower, toilet, sink) weekly
2. take out trash
3. weekly laundry
4. vacuum weekly
5. hang up towels and bathmat
6. take cups from bathroom to kitchen almost daily
7. make lunches everyday
8. dust tv, tv stand, bookcase
9. make dinner a few times a week

Rain or shine, sickness and health, post operation while taking vicodin. So who cares if I sleep until 11am because I'm up til 2am plus another hour because I get up at 5 and can't fall back asleep. All I ask is that you hang the clothes up or put them away and straighten things up mid week. You may work more than I do but you sit around just as much as I do. We had an agreement that I'd take care of the bathroom and laundry if you took care of the room and hung the laundry up.