sometimes i get so sad i think about going back to bad habits. but then i think of michelle and nawal and how dumb they sound sometimes and how desperate they are for attention. and i think back to simon and how absolutely pathetic she was. but i still want to. because i know that when we fight he is going to regret doing all these special things for me and now i feel like i am wasting his time and money and i dont deserve it.
its just that sometimes i get suspicious and sometimes i stumble upon it and sometimes he acts different and sometimes he has these "new ideas" that he just magically thinks of and then i know. and i'm not saying never do it, its bad. but there is the right time and place for that. and sometimes i could even be included.
and i think, really, i was gone for four hours and sometimes i dont want to and sometimes it bugs when you dont show me but tell me and expect fireworks, but it was my birthday and you couldn't wait?
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