The Bathroom

This is why boys are not to be trusted to clean the bathroom.

After a long day at work (not actually that long but when you're working with kids and idiotic management, the hours can suck all of your energy out) I come home to laundry that has not been put away, and a bathroom in need of some scrubbing bubbles. "Don't worry about it, I'll clean it," he says. "No, I like cleaning it," I reply. Wait, who really likes cleaning the bathroom? "I do it better anyway," I add. "Just wait until later or tomorrow. I'm going to take a shower as soon as I come home from the gym anyway," he says. "I have to work early and I'm not spending my Friday night cleaning the bathroom, I will do it tonight," I reply.
So boy goes to the gym. And I sit in my chair in front of the TV watching Mtv's MADE. I think about playing video games. But MADE is so addicting. ENOUGH. Ew, there is a reason I don't even know what number channel Mtv is. These are hours of my life I will never get back. Let the cleaning begin.
Boy thinks the bathroom sink is also a kitchen so he leaves cups and bowls on the counter top even though we have counted the steps to the kitchen sink and have agreed that it is about 12 boy steps (my legs are shorter). I put the cups in the middle of the bedroom floor for him. Shaving cream goes in the shower, vitamins go in the cupboard, magazines that end up behind the toilet on a daily basis go in the media room.
I put the toilet bowl cleaner in the toilet and let it sit while I scrub the counter and sink. The Lysol toilet bowl cleaner really gets my stomach in a knot because it reminds me of the smell of Pepto.
When I place the toilet scrubby wand in the toilet the water turns GREEN. Boy has somehow managed to get poop all over the scrubber and in its little caddy. The more I scrub, the more flakes of poo are released into the toilet. The little puddle of water and shit in the caddy stares up at me.
HOW did this happen? And WHEN is he coming home from the gym? And just how long has the crap infested scrubber been sitting there next to the toilet? I poured toilet cleaner into the caddy and left the bathroom mid cleanup. Because if I had cleaned it up, he wouldn't have believed that he tried to unclog a giant turd with a scrubby. But he did. I promise. And this is why boys can't be in charge of cleaning the bathroom.

Wash It Away

sometimes i get so sad i think about going back to bad habits. but then i think of michelle and nawal and how dumb they sound sometimes and how desperate they are for attention. and i think back to simon and how absolutely pathetic she was. but i still want to. because i know that when we fight he is going to regret doing all these special things for me and now i feel like i am wasting his time and money and i dont deserve it.
its just that sometimes i get suspicious and sometimes i stumble upon it and sometimes he acts different and sometimes he has these "new ideas" that he just magically thinks of and then i know. and i'm not saying never do it, its bad. but there is the right time and place for that. and sometimes i could even be included.
and i think, really, i was gone for four hours and sometimes i dont want to and sometimes it bugs when you dont show me but tell me and expect fireworks, but it was my birthday and you couldn't wait?